WARNING: MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY 18+ Thank you.

by what has been, time to relieve myself on Hawaii. You know who is to blame for that? I will tell you…

Been busy. I mean really occupied, this Warlock thing is harder than it looks, it is nothing like “White Dudes for Harris” standing a-round in KKK dresses and pointy hats, circle jerking into a mayo jar for tacos. They were questioning my morality, acquiring new elemental parts, I never knew feces were such an in-demand ingredient and why you should never flush it away, it need be kept so you do not mistakenly unburden yourself. Apparently I have been doing it all wrong and my spiritual essence has been sliding away in utter darkness and furthering the left agenda of the city off to the East, I am so grateful I was lucky enough to be unburdening myself to the West so as to confuse their efforts.

So many questions; ‘do I dream?’, ‘do I have vivid dreams?’, ‘are you in control of your dreams?’, ‘have I ever experienced death?’, ‘have I ever experienced the death of a close person?’, ‘have I ever experienced the death of a distant person, yet knew?’… and so on, the answer was yes to all these and many others, I experience that all the time. They asked of my precognition, I asked them if they watch the Weather Station. It was then I was led into an alter chamber, where they drugged me with poison wine, it had a nice robust bouquet I gulped it down and asked for more as they stared back at me in horror, that is when they straight up attempted to murder me. The first one approached yielding a spear, he was illuminated by what I can only guess was ground lightning, I could only watch, my body paralyzed, as his skin boiled, eyes exploded, limbs fell to the ground like fall off the bone tender roast beef, I had a strong rumbling in my stomach, I vomited. Unable to move the bile remained in my mouth and much of it seeped down into my lungs, it burned, I tried to cough but could not. Two others approached, one lifting the spear, the other lunged toward me, hands outstretched for my throat, within inches he seemed to turn completely to stone his momentum carried his corpse into me and he dissolved and I could taste his ashes, this was not a cool party, I regretted not sticking Tim’s Tampon in my ass months ago and further regretted being unable to do anything about it now as I wanted so bad to spit out the ashes and searing bile of my own vomit. Two more people quickly came into view, another man and a woman as the spear holder stepped back and hurled the weapon at my chest with amazing speed and strength, it thud hard against my breastplate, it hurt bad like a ten ton pencil tip, I was aware I was impaled as the spear remained protruding forward from me. The man was making spiral gestures with his arms and the woman was chanting something, I could not make out their faces for the man directly in front of me between us when he suddenly unburdened himself in a torrent of bloody diarrhea, the woman let out a loud angry growling huff as the man collapsed to his knees, his head splitting open like a dropped melon upon striking the stone floor, as he completely bled out from every pore. I has guessed that was for me. The man then raised his arms and hurled them down in my direction and the woman shrieked, my head rang like a bell, maybe it was a bell he threw at me, I was unsure, his own head then completely vanished without a trace, arterial fountains bubbled up blood in four big gushes and his body fell to the floor. The woman was enraged, hissed at me then started shrieking louder and more frequently as she approached, my body convulsed in sync, once, twice, three times and she fell as I felt my cock unburden, she literally let out a cock-a-doodle-do, thinking back I had not found it amusing at the time but it certainly was. She seemed to be convulsing in some weird spasmodic spiral and eventually just whimpered, then cried, then became completely still. I could only see what was directly in front of me, finally taking in my surroundings best I could, the room was medieval, wrought iron fixtures and ax hewn furniture, I made out what I guessed was an iron maiden, a stretching wheel and what I could only guess was a weapons rack when a thundering roar in the distance approached, it sounded much like an army approaching on horses, possibly overhead, the earth shook and I heard a heavy crash, metal, wood, breaking of limbs, maybe trees, glass, clanging, metal on metal, loud thunderous thuds like boulders dropping, ghastly shrieks and howls, none like I had heard before, dust falling from between the masonry above me, then fluid, it appeared dark and thick like blood, then the lights went out. I remained where I was forced to listen to this epic cacophony in complete darkness, not knowing what was occurring for several hours, it was maddening and at times deafening, I was aware I had unburdened myself a couple times, both number one and two, my lungs no longer burned, the spear had long since stopped moving and I was aware I had expired, the chaos in the world far away from me now and walking away and I was completely unburdened by what had been.

I thought of myself these last couple years, the things I had done, I had not done, nothing else mattered the sentence was death and that was my final thought, I believe I let out a chuckle and then there was nothing.

I had been in complete darkness, there were points of light like stars, but they floated more like dust, some were dark points, some light, some in between glorious illumination and black hole vacuums, below it all seemed to be crimson red and above azure blue, there was no pain, no thought, only observation and a deep yearning to embrace all before me, I was utterly alone, feeling left out to the extremes of the worse depression imaginable, the sadness was all there was, that and the deep yearning to want to touch, embrace and take in the lights around me, it made little sense, there was no memory, there was no existence to be aware of, just this deep desire to be one with the lights. Like dust they just seemed to float before me, then there was darkness. I again woke to the strange red glow below me, blue above me and the floating lights, the yearning was more intense the anguish deeper for I could not embrace the vista before me, then again darkness. When I next awoke, I had a thought and it was to be that all were to come to me and that was all it took for all to slowly float toward me, I was light, I was dark and I was in between, the red came up to meet me like a warm embrace, the blue came down like a blessing atop me and I felt Love and Warmth and all things were within me, all had come to my wish to be, the light came up through the darkness as each point had coalesced and I felt myself become massive and lighter, airy and dense all at the same time, hot and humid, vapor and steam, fire and searing bright light, my mind thundered and I drifted forward, toward a large blue cloud that teased me forward, red points of light behind me, dust everywhere, also coalescing and forming into masses, some collided and explosions erupted and I was no longer depressed, I was happy, everything was as it should be, life was now in order and things were well with me. I coughed hard and gasped for air, my lungs searing, the dust all about me glistening from a shaft of light coming down from somewhere behind me, the spear fell to the floor, I tried to catch it, my arms slow and dead with sleep, heavy and clumsy, I could hear distant noises and shouting, nothing discernible, looking down I could make out the bodies. I recalled the horror all at once, they tried to kill me, sacrifice me or something. I could lift my head, I looked down and I had been in some form of casket, the table beside me held the wine I had drank, a coffin lid, some nails and hammer. I looked down to my legs, they were soiled and covered in dust. I shook my right leg, it reported with pins and needles that sent me to my knees, falling forward out of the coffin onto the dead before me, I just lay there, unwilling to move, waves of pins and needles wracking my body, feeling feverish and dizzy until it passed. I stared at the shaft of light, I could feel it on my left hand and it felt like life, warm and caring. I eventually rolled over and found my balance on all fours. I felt my chest, no injury as I stared down at the spear on the floor now mushroomed and dull as if it had been clay when it struck me, I reached down to touch it, it was steel, cold and solid. I was completely baffled, I slowly stood up, shook my head, dust floating all about me from my hair. I looked to the body of the man closest me and gave him a swift solid kick and his body folded in half and soared across the room into the stone wall, falling to a crumpled bloody heap.

“What in the actual fuck?”, I heard myself ask myself.
I turned to where the door had been that I entered through, walked that way and pulled the handle, the old wood door collapsed to the floor and out of my hand in pieces, the iron studs that had held it together failing as it broke into several pieces, beyond me a long dark corridor. I pushed forward into the depths, unable to see, only the commotion distant somewhere above me, sometimes a shout or bang, occasionally mechanical noise, beneath my feet were bodies, at times having to step up and over them, steadying myself with one hand guiding me searching for the wall.

I walked up and over for what seemed to be hours, occasionally stumbling on the corpses beneath me, wondering over and over what happened here, sometimes there were deep puddles of water among the dead as they formed dams, becoming more aware there was a torrent of water flowing beneath them all, feeling signage on the walls here and there, but unable to read them in the darkness. I came upon one that felt to read <-EXIT, making out the arrow telling me I was going the right way. Loud crashes and noises above me, the occasional shouts I heard all along the way, nothing discernible, I pushed forward. A couple intersections crossed my path, I stayed straight for what seemed another couple hours until I happened upon a door, behind it I heard water flowing. I moved what I believed were three bodies, two women and a man, then opened it to a rush of several more bodies and a wall of water, suddenly a loud crash of collapsing ceiling and screams of people above me, the light burned my eyes, the water was refreshing, I was now standing chest deep, bodies floating and I was no longer alone.
“Are you okay?”, the first man asked.
“Yes, I think so.”, he replied.
“We’re okay!”, a man yelled, adding, “we have a survivor!”
The second man let out a whoop, looking at me, then up to a couple other men looking down, firefighters.
“Floor is collapsing here, step back from the hole until we can figure this out!”, he ordered the others.
“Where am I?”, I asked.
“DNC Convention. Don’t you remember?”, he replied.
“No.”
“Yeah someone lost control of a container ship on the Michigan, crashed through the water management and bridges, took out several blocks, damn thing was bearing full speed.”, he reported.
“Damn Act of God to me,” the other chimed in, “some sort of cult shit happened, baby sacrifices, sex rituals, none of it any good, happened on the last night, fuckin’ crazy!”
“Yeah best you don’t look around when we get out of this hole.”, the first man turned away from me and stepped up on something in the water, the back of his coat read ‘CHIEF’.
“This guy is MAGA, let’s get him out of here,” as he began commanding the men above him in multiple orders, from checking for stability and getting ladders arranged, within the hour I was out of Hell, being pulled up and led along the rubble, the scene all around me was madness. I was wearing jeans and a red shirt, everyone who had seen me clapped and slapped my back, telling me I was a survivor and a miracle and everyone had praises for God. My head spun.

When we reached the control center, the two firefighters turned to me, slapped my arm, one said, “We’re glad we found you.” I said, “Thank you for finding me.” the other shook my hand and stated, “You found us!” and I wept. A woman handed me a bottle of water and said, “Praise God for this Sunday Miracle.”

It was Sunday.

I looked up, half the building had collapsed, among the rubble, bodies, some being cleared away in body bags, seating, roofing, lighting, concrete, wiring everywhere, bodies impaled, smashed, and I thought of ‘The Wreck of Edmund Fitzgerald’ or maybe I was hearing it, I looked toward a large pile of rubble among it I could make out a sign that read UNITED in great story tall letters and a large red Bull atop it the haunting guitar notes by Gordon Lightfoot echoing in my head as my mind wandered to 9/11 and thought something far worse than a river flood and ship colliding all the way across town did this.

“The Wreck Of The Edmund Fitzgerald”

The legend lives on from the Chippewa on down
Of the big lake they call Gitche Gumee
The lake, it is said, never gives up her dead
When the skies of November turn gloomy

With a load of iron ore twenty-six thousand tons more
Than the Edmund Fitzgerald weighed empty
That good ship and true was a bone to be chewed
When the gales of November came early

The ship was the pride of the American side
Coming back from some mill in Wisconsin
As the big freighters go, it was bigger than most
With a crew and good captain well seasoned
Concluding some terms with a couple of steel firms
When they left fully loaded for Cleveland
Then later that night when the ship’s bell rang
Could it be the north wind they’d been feelin’?
The wind in the wires made a tattle-tale sound
When the wave broke over the railing
And every man knew, as the captain did too
‘Twas the witch of November come stealin’

The dawn came late and the breakfast had to wait
When the gales of November came slashin’
When afternoon came it was freezing rain
In the face of a hurricane west wind
When suppertime came, the old cook came on deck
Saying, “Fellas, it’s too rough to feed ya.”
At seven PM a main hatchway caved in
He said, “Fellas, it’s been good to know ya.”
The captain wired in he had water comin’ in
And the good ship and crew was in peril
And later that night when his lights went out of sight
Came the wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald

Does anyone know where the love of God goes
When the waves turn the minutes to hours?
The searchers all say they’d have made Whitefish Bay
If they’d put fifteen more miles behind her
They might have split up or they might have capsized
They may have broke deep and took water
And all that remains is the faces and the names
Of the wives and the sons and the daughters

Lake Huron rolls, Superior sings
In the rooms of her ice-water mansion
Old Michigan steams like a young man’s dreams
The islands and bays are for sportsmen
And farther below, Lake Ontario Takes in what Lake Erie can send her
And the iron boats go as the mariners all know
With the gales of November remembered

In a musty old hall in Detroit they prayed
In the Maritime Sailors’ Cathedral
The church bell chimed ’til it rang twenty-nine times
For each man on the Edmund Fitzgerald

The legend lives on from the Chippewa on down
Of the big lake they call Gitche Gumee
Superior, they said, never gives up her dead
When the gales of November come early

“The gales of November came early…” I said aloud, “God Bless.”