WARNING: MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY, 18+ THANK YOU.

Humanity gazed at stars for millennia, few listened, fewer heard their glorious song, at times reaching for the Choir, unprepared for their arrival.

When they sky seemed to mirror our world, blue skies were tinted gold, shining, flashing and reflective, brilliant with infinite points of light, it had its own clouds that swirled, it did not shake us upon arrival, it had not even seemed to arrive, it had only been observed, faint and lightly, maybe a trick of the eye here, maybe glint of something there, some feeling it was the prophesied City of Light, most was believed a great alien spaceship, however as far as all could see in all the places, it hovered, endless, never a defined edge, it seemed to hold structures that rivaled our mountains, rivers of light, energy did flow as silent distant lightning faster than the eye can track, darkness would move across it as well as if it were not there at all revealing the dark night sky beyond itself, leaving many to ask if it were merely an illusion.

[THIS IS WHAT I HAD SEEN. THIS IS WHAT I HAVE BEEN FEELING. MANY FEEL IT. MOST USE IT TO TELL OF PROPHECY, FOR PROFIT AND ENTERTAINMENT, THIS IS THE HEAVENS, IT IS ALL AROUND US, IN THE PAST ONLY THE THRONE HAD BEEN SHOWN TO PROPHETS, THIS IS KNOWN AS NEW JERUSALEM. THE SCIENTISTS HAVE SOUGHT PROOF THEMSELVES, THEY SEEK TO KNOW WHAT IT IS AND VERIFY IT. THEY SEEK TO BE LIKE GOD, LOOK TO ITER, LOOK TO CERN, LOOK TO NASA, THEN LOOK TO ALL THOSE LIKE THEM AND WHO RUNS THEM AND KNOW WE ARE ALL IMPLICIT IN THESE ACTIONS, THEREFORE WE ARE ALL THE SAME IN THE EYES OF GOD, WE ALL FUNDED IT, WE ALL DID NOTHING TO STOP IT. (EDIT JANUARY 2nd, 2025)]

I had been listening for years, at times it told stories, they would flash through my mind so fast, the inspirations felt were awesome and the cascade that followed, visions of grand places, vistas that defied time but not their record, overwhelming emotion that connected me to all people, knowing something were there, collecting the thoughts, they left me like burning ashes in the eye of a hurricane, still seeing them, dimmed and extinguished, fleeting, if I were lucky I held a shred and looked intensely upon it, there was a story in it, how did I fit into it, I did not, maybe a story about others, I would pull it in close to me and try to make it into a fabric and thus would be how I spent decades threading the galactic needle.
Often the story repeated, or tones of it, I would be reminded, sometimes when I felt more, I considered writing, most of the time I just felt broken, like this was my mind, the things within it, but I were to never connect any of it, I was disabled, mentally ill, retarded. I had heard it my entire life, in every way it could be said. When I would overcome it, when I shut it up and ignore it, I was no different than them, doing so that I may function, have conversation, focus and work, sometimes learn and then I would far exceed them all until I tripped over my own feet, my own thoughts, my own words, locked up at times, then given nothing but my own thoughts to listen to. It was then I resigned to feeling I needed to remember every note and lyric of my favorite songs, in the case I find myself locked up forever, for life, even eternally. I would begin to build a world where I would play at times, when I lost my wife, I built her castles there with sprawling forests, streams, lakes, rivers, mountains, valleys and oceans beyond them, I would fill them with life, all the trees did flower, there would be seasons, there would be night and day and I would only hope she would love the wildlife there as she had when she lived.

I kept it to myself, my great imagination, fueled by something I could not understand. My mind rivaled Artificial Intelligence, watching movies in real time playing out in my mind as it went along, I have forgotten more stories than most of you have encountered in your lives, minute by minute, inspired by all of you, at all times, through knowledge, song, books, movies, from the greatest minds down through the musings of anyone I encountered down to a giggling child who just want to play peek-a-boo, then down through each moment, each animal, each insect, everything had a story and I had to feel it, to know it, to remember.

I am just a daydreaming space cadet, it never bothered me, I do admit it was hard to hold at times, especially when dealing with public, as so when cashiering, cooking at restaurants, walking through events, shopping in the markets. I seemed to be constantly juggling the world I lived in with the world I longed for, sweating a lot, anxiety was my best friend, keeping me on my toes AND my worse enemy, tripping me at every step.

“Hey!”, a voice would pierce my thoughts.
“What?”, I asked.
“You have to…”, someone would begin. Always explaining what I already knew, damn it, I had stepped out of line again.
“Sorry, I thought that would help.”, doing my best to explain away why I missed or skipped a step, sometimes it was more efficient, sometimes the step was unnecessary as I could incorporate it later in a complicated maneuver they could not do. It would take me years to understand routine, order, consistency and why it was done. This conflicted with my core beliefs as everything to me were unique and individual, not so good when cooking a fish dinner with baked potato side of gumbo and hush-puppies. I barely got by. I mostly failed. I was never long for this world, yet here I am despite all odds, rightfully I should be dead and I had been too many times.

[NOW I AM TELLING YOU WHY. (EDIT JAN 2nd, 2025)]

Thank God!
Praise God!
Serve God!
Bless God!